Plea for Inspiration
Two days back, I carried out a portraiture session in school based on an idea that I had recently. I had to force myself to carry out the session because it has been awhile since I did some personal work.
However, not many people came down for the session and I probably would have to do it again. I guess that being in a business school, most people are generally not concerned with the arts (plus it’s mid-term week, I forgot about that, doh).
Nevertheless, I learnt a bit more about myself during the entire process, how I was concerned not so much with the photographing part but more towards the actualization of a concept. Not sure where I’m going with this though. All I wanted to say was that despite shooting something I wanted, I did not feel that exhilaration that I experienced two years ago.
Back then, I just discovered photography’s ability to transcend aesthetics and how each piece of work could say/mean something else. Everything I shot was suddenly bathed in a golden light of higher meaning (compared to sunsets and snapshots of my feet).
Now, it’s has reached a stage of struggle. I’ve been trying very hard to find that spark in my work. Perhaps it’s the commercialization, perhaps it’s the constant pressure that I place upon myself to create meaningful work. Random street shots had to say something, that abstract shot is no longer cool because someone probably shot it before…and then I find myself not touching the camera at all.
I wish I could go back to that high, to that excitement of a new project; something that will spur me on to create better work. I feel that I’ve walked into a mental block. So I’m wondering how do I get out of the rut and back into the game?
I’m thinking that it could also be that I’m shifting my focus on life away from photography; to my impending graduation and potential career path. In the end, I’m pretty much spent with nothing much left… It fills me with a sense of regret when I think about it. And this is the main reason why I’ve seriously considered not going into the industry. I do not want to end up without a job and a passion if I fail. But still, this begs the question. I still need to find a way to reconnect with myself and you know, be happy shooting again.
Help me, anyone?